Meaning Behind Boundary of Self

The meaning of “the boundary of self” in concrete terms feels pretty self-explanatory. Where I end and the world begins. I imagine some of you thought I would begin to talk about the establishing of boundaries within relationships. The positives and negatives of “therapy terms” seeping its way into conversations between friends and blindsided families is a whole other conversation and I will not be going there today. Rather, I am more interested in the breakdown of whether or not there is a boundary of self at all. 

This idea of the self not having a boundary is not an original thought of mine by any means and the absence of a boundary as I understand it comes from spiritual and religious traditions that emphasize the concept of “non-dual”. Ancient traditions such as Hinduism, Zen and Taoism speak of the connectedness of all living things. Duality, as in the separateness of I and the outside world, is but a myth. Specific to my current interests, Taoism, speaks to aligning with a natural order. Striving for harmony. Harmony of our lives comes to us when we are attuned to what is around us and the flow our lives are taking. Eliminating force. Seeing things as they are and flowing with the events of our lives from a place of connection. 

In an attempt to ground us, what does this look like within the therapeutic process? Understanding ourselves within a world of influence has been my experience as to what therapy allows us to do. As non-dual traditions suggest, it is impossible to differentiate self from our experience of this world. The quote that encapsulates this idea comes from an interview with the world renowned stage designer, Es Devlin. Probably more posts to come about her work. (you can find a link to the conversation below along with the project that puts this idea into art form).

“I am the sum total of every book I've ever read, every one I've ever loved, every street I've ever walked down, every horse I've ever rode.” 

Every horse I’ve ever rode may not be as applicable to modern society, but the sentiment remains. The music we listen to, the landscapes we feel most content in, the art that draws emotion out that leaves us lost for words are all windows into who we are deep down. I’m endlessly fascinated as to why people like what they do. In future posts I will be sharing what I’m really into these days in the hope of connection. I mean, that’s what we all want right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-Q1zg_sh2I